Paul LePage presides over the installation of a new sign that encapsulates his administration’s priority of putting politics before people and pandering to the wealthy. LePage states the new sign is a response to critics who have challenged him to provide more specifics on just what kind of business he will create.
Once upon a time, there was a place called Maine — a beautiful land of lakes, mountains, and coastline. It was never an easy place to live, but people worked hard, and even in the worst of times, the wood and produce from the public orchard helped everyone to get by.
In the midst of one of the bad times, a certain candidate for pooh bah came before the people. “Jobs,” shouted the people.
“Jobs!” he shouted back — and so they elected him.
On the day after the election, the people stood before him and said, “Excuse us sir, but we would like to have jobs.”
“You will have jobs, but first we need to help the job creators,” said the pooh bah.
“How can we do that?” asked the people.
“They need half of the trees in the public orchard,” the pooh bah replied.
Gasps filled the arena. The people loved the orchard — and depended on it. But they also needed jobs, so they agreed to the pooh bah’s request. Men came in and cut the trees and sent them up the distant hill to the job creators who lived there.
On the next day, the people again stood before the pooh bah and said, “Excuse us sir, we would very much like to have jobs.”
The pooh bah smiled at them his widest smile. “We will have plenty of jobs,” he said. “Only first we must get rid of the regulations that kill jobs”
“What regulations?” the people asked.
“Regulations like, ‘No building roads in the public orchard,’” the pooh bah said.
Many were skeptical. But then again, the public orchard was already half cut over. What harm would there be in widening the dirt track into a road? The next morning, they woke to find a 4-lane highway, complete with median strip and guard rails, running through the orchard and on up the hill toward the houses of the job creators.
Most were aghast, but what could they do? Nothing would make the highway back into a forest again. They stood before the pooh bah and said, “We thought by now, sir, that we would have some jobs.”
“You don’t have jobs because our energy costs are too high,” the pooh bah said. “We need to lower them.”
By now, more of them had doubts, but they believed it when he said this. They knew it was true Energy costs were too high. Few of them could still afford to heat their homes. “What will it cost?” they asked.
“Half the remaining trees in the orchard,” said he pooh bah.
Once more the people agreed to the pooh bah’s request. Once more, trees were cut from the orchard and trundled up the hill toward the houses of the job creators.
On the next day, the people again stood before the pooh bah and said even more stridently this time, “Sir, you said you would create jobs.”
“Surely you misunderstood me,” the pooh bah said. “Pooh bahs cannot create jobs. They only create the conditions in which jobs occur.”
The people grumbled. If they had misinterpreted him, it was because he had willed them to do so. . They now had less than before — and beyond that, the orchard had been decimated. They stood and waited and muttered to each other. This made the pooh bah nervous.
“The job creators, they tell me there are plenty of jobs,” he finally stammered. “They say you people just don’t have the right skills.”
A cold silence filled the arena. Did the pooh bah take them for fools?. “Did they say anything else,” asked one man in the back. “No.” said the pooh bah. “But they have been working hard. We need to make sure things go good for them in their retirement.”
Fortunately or unfortunately, this is where the written part of the story ends. It is up to you, dear reader, and your fellow citizens to decide what happens next.